In today’s fast-paced and emotionally charged world, it takes more than IQ to achieve success; it takes EQ as well. Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a concept that has picked up incredible steam throughout psychology, leadership, relationships and even school curricula.

Whether you want to lead a team, develop a relationship or simply understand yourself a little better, emotional intelligence can be the X-factor that gives you an edge. So, what is emotional intelligence and how can you improve yours?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence is the ability to perceive, assess, manage and influence your own emotions as well as the emotions of others. Psychologist Daniel Goleman, a key figure in making the concept popular, defined EI in five components:

The Five Components of Emotional Intelligence:

• Self-Awareness – Knowledge of your own emotions and the things that trigger those emotions as well as how they affect others.
• Self-Regulation – The ability to manage your emotional reactions in healthy and positive ways.
• Motivation – Being motivated by your core values instead of someone else’s external reward.
• Empathy – Understanding the emotions of others and acting appropriately.
• Social Skills – The ability to manage relationships and influence others positively.

What Does It Mean to be Emotionally Intelligent?

Being emotionally intelligent does not mean you are always calm or never upset. It means you have:

• Emotional control
• Resilience in tough situations
• The ability to communicate and resolve conflict
• Empathy that builds stronger connections

High emotional intelligence typically results in more thoughtful decision-making, a decrease in stress, and a better quality of leadership.

Why Does Emotional Intelligence Matter?

EI is critical in both personal and professional spaces.

In the workplace:

• It provides collaborative team experiences
• It helps leaders develop rational decisions
• It decreases conflict
• It improves employee satisfaction and productivity

In relationships:

• It improves communication
• It encourages empathy and compassion
• It helps you feel an emotional bond and develops trust

For personal development:

• It increases self-awareness
• It increases mental wellness
• It helps with managing stress and negative emotions

What Does Emotional Intelligence Look Like in Leadership?

Emotionally intelligent leadership is being self-aware, open to feedback, empathetic in relation to the team, and managing both people and challenges. Why does emotional intelligence matter in leadership? Builds trust, communication and performance.

Research found that leaders with high EI had:

• Teams that were more engaged
• Crisis-confidence
• More inclusive and resilient workplace

What is Emotional Intelligence in a relationship?

Emotional intelligence in romantic and platonic relationships can be understood as being aware of your feelings and emotions while understanding and acknowledging your partner or friend at the same time. Respecting one or both people’s emotions contributes to better:

• Conflict resolution
• Relationship trust and intimacy
• Long-term relationship satisfaction

Does Athena Relate to Emotional Intelligence?

While many scholars associate Athena, the goddess of wisdom and strategy, with intelligence and the planning of war strategy, many portions of Athena’s characterization overlap with some significant aspects of emotional intelligence.

Below are the ways that Athena encompasses EI:

• Self-regulation: Ares, the Greek god of war, represented impulsive aggression while Athena demonstrated thoughtfulness, sound judgment, where strategy requires emotional regulation.
• Empathy and Guidance: Because of her role as mentor to heroes, giving advice or guidance, she also demonstrated emotional insight and compassion.
• Social awareness: She gave focus on the role of justice and diplomacy; two positions that are easier to understand and leverage than socially manage.
• Wisdom and self-awareness: Her iconic owl, represents perception and awareness; two crucial elements of emotional intelligence.

Athena fused or balanced intelligence and emotional wisdom, in the similar way that emotional intelligence reflects that balance.

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Learned?

Definitely! Unlike IQ, which tends to remain the same through a lifetime, emotional intelligence can be enhanced, grown, and developed over time.

How to Improve Emotional Intelligence?

Here are several suggested approaches to develop and enhance your emotional intelligence:

1. Practice Self-Awareness

• Keep a diary of your emotional responses.
• Think about what triggers your emotional responses and what patterns arise with emotions that occur frequently.

2. Enhance Emotional Regulation

• Think before you react.
• Take a moment to breathe and diffuse any stress before responding.
• Talk back to your negative self-talk.

3. Increase Empathy

• Put yourself in someone else’s shoes.
• Ask questions and listen more than you speak.
• Validate the feelings of others, even if you disagree with them.

4. Improve Social Skills

• Improve active listening.
• Learn some strategies for resolving conflict.
• Practice direct and assertive communication.

5. Increase Motivation

• Set goals according to your values.
• Follow and record progress with small wins.

What Are The Best Ways To Improve Emotional Intelligence?

• Read books on EI such as Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence.
• Participate in online courses or workshops related to leadership and emotional mastery.
• Seek out therapy or professional coaching services that will help you better understand your emotions and teach you techniques to regulate your emotions.
• Take feedback seriously! Have the concern that others are trying to help you when they provide feedback and try to adjust accordingly.

How to Measure Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence can be assessed through any of the typical emotional intelligence assessment tools such as:

1. EQ-i (Emotional Quotient Inventory)
2. MSCEIT (Mayer-Salovey-Caruso Emotional Intelligence Test)
3. Self-reflection questions and process’ within the 5 emotional intelligence self-assessment areas mentioned above.

These tests evaluate factors like emotional perception, regulation, and relationship management.

Is Emotional Intelligence a Skill?

It certainly is! Emotional intelligence is a soft skill that may be more impactful than hard skills, especially in areas that involve leadership, client management, and collaboration. It is also the basis for mental health and resilience.

What Are the Traits Associated With Emotional Intelligence?

The main traits include:

• Empathy
• Self-awareness
• Flexibility
• Conflict resolution
• Influence and persuasion
• Positive regard
• Accountability

Emotional Intelligence vs Intelligence Quotient (IQ)

Emotional intelligence is different from intelligence quotient (IQ) in that IQ measures cognitive functions whereas EQ measures emotional/social competence. People with high EQ can deal with stress and manage relationships better than those with average IQs.

Aspect	Emotional Intelligence (EQ)	Intelligence Quotient (IQ)
Definition	Ability to recognize, manage, and influence emotions	Ability to solve problems, think logically, and learn
Focus Area	Emotions, relationships, empathy, self-awareness	Analytical thinking, memory, reasoning, language skills
Key Skills	Empathy, communication, self-regulation, social awareness	Math, logic, verbal reasoning, spatial reasoning
Measurement	EQ tests, self-assessments, 360-degree feedback	Standardized IQ tests (e.g., Stanford-Binet, WAIS)
Impact in Life	Improves relationships, leadership, teamwork, stress handling	Enhances academic performance and problem-solving ability
Can It Be Developed?	Yes, it can be learned and improved over time	Limited

What is Emotional Intelligence at Work?

We know because of research that workplaces that value emotional intelligence see:

• Increased collaboration
• Reduced miscommunication
• Increased succession planning
• Higher morale

Increasingly, hiring agents prioritize emotional intelligence over abilities for specific job functions.

What Does It Mean to Have High or Low Emotional Intelligence?

• If you have high EI: You are empathetic, resolve conflict well, adapt easily, and will likely maintain meaningful relationships.
• If you have low EI: You may struggle to understand your feelings, react impulsively, or misinterpret others’ emotional signs.

How Emotionally Intelligent Are You?

Here are some potential indicators of emotional intelligence:

• You are able to pause before responding.
• You feel empathy for others even when you disagree with them.
• You handle constructive criticism with grace.
• You endure stress without inflicting pain on others.
• You are aware of fluctuations in emotion in a room or in a person.

Can Artificial Intelligence have Emotion?

AI is very good at imitating aspects of emotional intelligence, such as detecting tone and sentiment, but it doesn’t experience true emotion or empathy. However, AI is much better at conducting emotional responses in customer service and therapy bots.

Conclusion

Emotional Intelligence may be the latest hot topic, but it is also one of the most important things that can influence all dimensions of life from professional achievement to personal happiness. While some exhibit greater emotional intelligence than others, everyone can develop emotional intelligence if they try and practice.

Start small. Take time to notice your emotional responses, interact with people with more attention, ask for feedback. In time, you will not only notice very positive changes to your relationships and connections with people, but you will notice your own greater confidence, peace, and efficacy in life.

Read about: What Makes or Breaks a Long-Distance Relationship? A Complete Guide