The mixed signals of modern dating leave us confused in a haze of confusing communication, texting delays, late night phone calls, and murky boundaries. In the center of it all, is a phenomenon that seems casual but is deep: the situationship.

As more people search for “what is a situationship?” or, “how to get over a situationship, no closure,” it is clear that people are not only fascinated by this modern dating term but that it has also brought pain. So let’s take a moment to look at the good, bad, and emotionally draining situationships, and the truth about whether they are ruining how we date right now.

What is a situationship?

A situationship is a romantic connection that is without clarity or commitment of a typical relationship. It is sort of in between “friends with benefits” and “dating,” without the conversations that normally define either.

In a situationship:

• You might go on “dates”.
• You might be physical in some way.
• You probably text or call or hang out quite a lot.

But – you have not defined the relationship. And there are no agreed upon rules or expectations.

Initially, this may seem liberating, but in situationships, the lack of direction will typically lead to confusion and eventually heartbreak – especially when one person wants more and the other person does not.

Are Situationships Bad?

Not all of the time- but frequently, yes.

Both the specifics of the search terms like “are situationships bad” “are situationships toxic” and “why do situationships hurt more” certainly imply that the emotional toll is a theme people are searching about. This is particularly relevant when without commitment, clarity, or clear communication, individuals can then:

• Feel emotionally stagnant.
• Create one-sided expectations.
• Suffer through break up after break up.
• Have a hard time maintaining distance or finding closure.

At least with a break up you have a clear cut type of ending, while without this emotional defined line, moving on can be more difficult.

Why Situationships May Be Messing up Dating?

• Fear of Vulnerability – Many individuals enter into situationships as a way to not commit and deal with the vulnerability associated with this – but in fact often the emotional cost is just the same or worse.
• Dating Apps – With swipes, DMs, and “hey” texts all at our fingertips, it is easier than ever to keep people emotionally in these half in, half out zones.
• Delayed Emotional Skill Growth – Often individuals that enter situationships do not even develop key relationship skills like compromise, communication/coupling, or even emotional responsibility/accountability.
• Confusion as the Default – When “am I in a situationship?” is a trending search, it shows that confusion is the new default, and likely not sustainable.

How to Avoid Situationships?

Avoiding situationships starts with knowing yourself and being intentional about how you approach dating. If you’re clear about your needs and communicate them early on, it’s easier to build something meaningful and avoid confusion or emotional burnout.

• Be clear about what you’re looking for before getting involved: casual, serious, or something in between.
• Communicate your expectations early instead of waiting for things to “just happen.”
• Watch out for vagueness, inconsistency, or unwillingness to define the relationship.
• Don’t overinvest time or emotion in someone who avoids clarity.
• Pay attention to actions, consistency and effort matter more than words.
• Check in regularly to make sure you’re on the same page.
• Don’t make excuses for someone’s lack of commitment.
• Walk away if your needs aren’t being met, don’t settle for “almost” relationships.

How to End a Situationship?

• Be straight forward: “I have come to realize that I want something more solid.”
• Avoid blame: Use “I” statements.
• Create boundaries: Don’t slip back into informal contact.

Be kind; especially if you want to be friends more about this in the next section (“how to end a situationship and be friends” is trending right now).

How to Get Over a Situationship?

Getting over a situationship hurts, sometimes more than a relationship. Why? Because it leaves you with unanswered questions:

• What were we?
• Did I imagine the connection?
• Were they ever really serious?

To move on:

• Allow yourself to grieve it like a breakup.
• Stop seeking “closure” from someone who avoided labels.
• Cut contact if you need space.
• Remind yourself that your feelings were valid, even if the situationship wasn’t.

Do Situationships Turn Into Relationships?

The answer is: Sometimes, but rarely.

If you’re wondering “How to turn a situationship into a relationship?” It comes down to:

• Honest and open conversations.
• A mutual desire to commit to one another.
• Emotional maturity.

Most situationships flounder or “drag on”, where one person quietly holds out hope for more and the other person is resistant to labels.

Are You in a Situationship?

If you’re seaching for “am I in a situationship” then there’s chances that you might be.

But, consider asking yourself these questions:

• Are you unsure what the two of you are?
• Are you hesitant to bring up commitment?
• Do you feel uneasy when they take space?

If you’ve responded yes to most of those questions, you are probably in a situationship. Some tools, like an am I in a situationship quiz, can help, but your gut probably knows what’s up.

FAQs

Q: How long do situationships last?
A: Weeks to years, often as long as both people avoid defining it.

Q: Do situationships ever come back?
A: Sometimes. But like unfinished business, they often return without change.

Q: Can you be friends after a situationship?
A: Yes, but only if both have emotionally moved on.

Q: How do I avoid a situationship?
A: Be upfront early on about your intentions. Look for consistency, communication, and mutual effort, not just chemistry.

Conclusion

Situationships illustrate the modern dating dilemma – wanting intimacy but fearing commitment. Situationships are not inherently toxic, but they give us space and lack of clarity that usually slows emotional development, hides loneliness, and increases anxiety.

Are situationships ruining dating?
Not for everyone, but they are creating a culture of ambiguity that is leaving many people feeling tired, confused, and emotionally unfulfilled.

You deserve clarity. You deserve consistency. You deserve more than “it’s complicated.”